Posted in NaNoWriMo, Writing

NaNoWriMo Chapter 12!

Our First Wedding

The next day was our first wedding. We were meant to ruin the happy couple’s special “moon wedding”. I knew that the moon wedding was a hoax: we were just on a very specially designed stage. I whispered this to Jessie as we were getting ready with our prank flowers, balloon cake, fake ring and block salt.

We walked up the aisle and ripped the bride’s train, “accidentally” exposing her underwear to the guests. She didn’t realise this until too late. Seeing some people laughing and snapping pictures, she burst into tears. This only worsened when someone yelled out: “One hundred hits on Instagram already!”

The groom was next. As we walked him up the aisle (instead of groomsmen, the television company had persuaded the couple to use bridesmaids), we taped a sign onto his back that said: “I never wanted to marry her, I just want her money!”

It didn’t take long for some more snapping action to happen and soon the groom had ripped the sign off his back in disgust and used it (writing facing inside) to cover his fiancée’s underwear.

Next, the procedures were continued by a bumbling old “priest” who read the first bit and then went: “Oh, whatever, you do, you don’t, doesn’t matter to me! Just get onto the kissing!”

So they kissed. And when they looked back at the audience, some of the guests were holding signs saying ‘6/10’ and ‘3/10’. They had rated the kiss!

After that was done, a fake ring was brought to the bride and groom and it fell apart on the bride’s hand. At this, the groom burst into tears. We stepped up to hand the bride her flowers and squirted her in the face with a nasty yellowy colour and some ammonia added in for scent. Naturally, she thought it was pee, and ran to the bathrooms.

When she came back, everyone started to eat. And spat out the food.

You see, we had switched the sugar with the salt and put hot sauce in everything, so it was understandably disgusting,  After a bit, the bride and groom gave up on the meal and asked for the cake to be brought in.

However, as they sliced into it, the cake exploded with a loud BANG! Pieces of vanilla-raspberry cheesecake went flying everywhere. And the wedding was successfully ruined.

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Posted in NaNoWriMo, Writing

NaNoWriMo Chapter 9

The Dome

Selma, Mary, Jessie and I walked into the dome and sat on our beds in silence. Then Jessie asked, “Want a game?”.

“Sure,” Selma, Mary and I said together. “What?”

“Well, how about the counting game?”

“What’s that?” We asked together. It was starting to become a dodgy habit, us saying everything together.

“Well, it’s where a random person says one, and then another random person says two, and so on and so on. It continues until you get up to twenty. You’re out if two people say the same number or if there is more than a five-second pause between each number. You can’t decide who’s going to say each number beforehand: that’s cheating.”

We played and were rubbish. However, for the first time, we had fun with Selma and Mary. They revealed themselves as funny, playful and not at all spoilt.

That night, we went to bed happy, despite the disgusting food.

In bed, I was half asleep when I heard a phone ringing. Mary picked it up. “Hello?” she said. “Mary speaking.” A voice, sounding angry, yelled at her on the phone. I picked up snippets: “spoilt” “annoying” “not friendly!” “no money” “bad actresses” “you’ll never make it!” Mary replied, sounding hurt: “I’m sorry, I forgot myself, it won’t happen again, please, I need the money!” The voice muttered an angry reply and hung up.

Mary whispered to Selma and they both cried themselves to sleep.

Posted in NaNoWriMo, Writing

NaNoWriMo Chapter 10!

The Trip

My dream was finally coming true. The moon! I couldn’t believe it. I was actually going to the moon. I was, in a manner of speaking, over the moon.

When we were handed our mild drug, I didn’t take it. And that’s where it all started. You see, I didn’t want to miss our trip to the moon: I wanted to see all the stars whizzing past us, to feel the kick when the rocket took off. So instead of swallowing the pill, I crumbled it up, popped it in the glass of water and waited until it dissolved. Then I tipped the water into a conveniently placed nearby pot plant.

When we entered the rocket, I closely followed the movements of Jessie, Mary and Selma, who had definitely taken their drugs. Soon we were all slumped in our chairs, seatbelts fastened, fast asleep.

I never felt the kick that meant that the rocket was taking off. When I opened my eyes, I saw that we were still on the ground. The rocket had never taken off. But why?

Then I thought about it. Imagine the cost of sending a rocket to the moon! Would it be worth it? No, almost definitely not. Still, I couldn’t help but wish that they had told us.

I knew that we were being filmed and I didn’t want to be caught out awake, so I closed my eyes. Then, probably out of boredom, I fell asleep.

When we got there, we were all woken up and taken to our domes in our little space dresses. I still couldn’t believe that they had tricked us, but I guess that there was still a plus side. We were going to be on TV, after all!

Posted in NaNoWriMo, Writing

NaNoWriMo Chapter 9!

At Home

Brianna’s words rang in my ears “if you’re going to survive three weeks on the moon together”. I didn’t want to spend a month on the moon with those horrible, spoilt brats!

“How was it?” Mum asked in the car on the way home.

“It was OK… the girls who are coming with us are absolute brats: utterly horrid!” Jessie stuck her tongue out and moaned.

“Great…” Mum said, rolling her eyes. “The spoiled, rich kind?”

“The very same,” I replied. “We played a prank on them.”

Mum giggled: she couldn’t help herself. “And how was the food?”

“Fabulous,” Jessie said, at that same time that I said “Disgusting!”

Mum laughed. “So much for twins being able to read each other’s minds!”

“Mum, we’re not twins,” we reminded her. “We were born on different days!”

“But you did just speak at the same time,” Mum said, reapplying her lipstick in the rear-view mirror. We were stuck on that one.

When we got home, Dad asked the same questions and got the same answers. “Maybe you and Mum should be the twins!” I teased him.

“Yeah right,” he said, laughing.

That night we had takeaway for dinner. It was delicious, especially compared with astronaut food.

The next day, we were bombarded with questions from curious classmates.

“How was it?”

“What’d you do?”

And my personal favourite, “What was the moon like?”

We did try to answer them all, but there were just too many.  Eventually, we were hustled inside by the teachers.

In class, all of our teachers had abandoned their lesson plans for ones that were moon-related or reality-tv show based. Our English teacher, Mr Smith, was asking us to write poetry about the moon. Our art teacher made us do a watercolour of the moon. Our maths teacher gave us a bunch of moon-related word problems. In music, we sang Au Claire de la Lune.

And so it went on and on.

By the end of the week, we were exhausted. But also excited. It was time for our trip to the moon.

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NaNoWriMo Chapter 8

Lunch (and dinner: and breakfast)

We ate our packed lunches in silence, partly because the strict Brianna was watching over us (shiver) and partly because of the general air in the room. It seemed to be saying “Silence.”

Once we were done eating, Brianna led us to a dome-shaped hut. “You will be sleeping here overnight,” she said. We had known that it would be an overnight stay. “You will have time to get used to one another and experience life as it will be on the moon. You will eat astronaut food tonight and wear space clothes all day (you will only be wearing those dresses on the actual weddings). There will be no entertainment provided, so you will have to rely on each other when you’re bored.”

With that, she left us with the most stuck-up twins in the world. Just left us.

We changed into our space suits without much enthusiasm. But when Jessie whispered to me, “Just think, Georgie, we’ll actually be on television!” I had to smile. It was an exciting prospect after all. We entered the dome with smiles on our faces. Maybe these people would actually turn out to be nice after all.

When we were inside, they greeted us with turned-up noses. Great, I thought. These people weren’t just putting on a show for the camera. “Well, Mary and Selma, would you like to play a game? What about hide and go seek? That will help us get to know this place a bit better!” I said with fake enthusiasm.

“No thanks. We’d rather not: we don’t play uncivilised games like ‘hide and go seek’. We prefer to sit in silent contemplation.”

What a pair of snobs, the both of them! They were already driving me round the bend: making me go completely crazy! Then I hit on it. The people in charge of this wanted us to play a prank on them. That would take them down a peg!

I looked around. Then my eyes hit upon a bucket. I made eye contact with Jessie and motioned towards the bucket. She smiled and nodded. Secretly, we left the room. The twins were oblivious (they were deep in meaningful, silent contemplation). We filled the bucket with water and placed on top of the door leading to the kitchen, with a perfect trigger point right near the door so when the girls walked through for dinner, they would be hit by a stream of water.

“Would you like dinner?” Jessie asked, startling the meditation twins out of their stupor.

“Oh thanks, that’d be great,” said Selma. They walked into the kitchen and splash! a huge jet of water hit them square on the head, making them both topple over. When they got up, they were glaring at us.

“So,” I said, trying to break the ice, “How about that dinner. The nodded, still glaring at us.

For dinner, there was this weird freeze-dried Morrocan lamb curry or something. It didn’t taste too bad, actually, but it was nothing on Mum’s pancakes.

For dessert we had freeze-dried ice cream: it was good (not as good as the real stuff, but better than the lamb).

After dinner, we all went to bed. No one felt much like talking.

This made me nervous as if it shouldn’t be happening. I tossed and turned around that night, and I had horrible nightmares about deformed Marys and Selmas trying to eat me. I was terrified. There was nothing more scary for me than people who are mad at me finally getting revenge. Nothing.

When we woke, we breakfasted on “delicious” powdered eggs and dehydrated bacon. My stomach had a Mum’s pancakes shaped hole at the end of our so-called “meal”.

After a bit more ignoring each other, Brianna came to collect us. “Just to let you know,” she informed us, “You were being filmed that whole time. We have seen what you did, and frankly, I don’t think much of it. I will see you later, but just remember, you need to stay in each other’s good books if you’re going to survive three weeks on the moon with each other.”

Posted in NaNoWriMo, Writing

NaNoWriMo Chapter 7

The Studio

The next day, I was up bright and early: not by choice of course, but because Jessie invades my bed, waking me with cries of “SHOWTIME!” I groan and roll over, batting Jessie’s eager face away from me. “Go away,” I murmur. Jessie’s always been an early riser. “What time is it anyway?” “Six o’clock!” An impish grin spreads across Jessie’s face. “SIX!” I howl. “SIX!!” I put my pillow over my face and block out Jessie’s talking. Jessie pulls the doona off my bed, struggling with the heavy material. “Get UP, lazypants!” I grin. “You’ve got me this time, Jess, but tomorrow I’ll be up no later than seven.”

After breakfast (sadly not pancakes, but instead porridge) Mum drives us to the studio. “Good luck, darling girls!” She kisses each of us on the cheek. “I’ll pick you up at four!”

“Alright!” we call back, eager to be inside the TV studio.

At the doors, we are greeted by a smartly dressed woman carrying a briefcase. I guess that this must be Brittney. “Hello, girls,” she says, curtly. “Please follow me. The other bridesmaids are already here, waiting for you.” She walks briskly down a corridor. “You will be briefed on what you will do, fitted for dresses and given your costumes today. That is all you need to know.” We nod at Brittney.

When we reach the briefing room, we see two other girls already seated there. “Jessie, Georgie, Mary, Selma. Mary, Selma, Jessie, Georgie.” Brittney introduces us. “You will all be bridesmaids in ‘My Moon Wedding’. Is everything clear?” We all nod our heads. “I will leave you to become acquainted with each other.” Brittney walks out of the room.

Selma and Mary are identical twins, just like us. They have blond hair, snub noses, blue eyes, lacy dresses (Mary’s is pink, Selma’s blue) and just the right amount of freckles to make them pretty. All in all, they’re perfect. Perfectly infuriating rich snobs. “Our Daddy has a chauffeur,” says Selma.

Our Mummy has a private cinema,” says Mary.

I have a massive room with its own swimming pool,” says Selma.

I have three million, six hundred and twenty thousand, nine hundred and seventy-two dollars in my bank,” says Mary.

“We live in a mansion,” says Selma.

“Our three hundred and seventy-second cousin twice removed’s wife’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandnephew’s dogwalker’s niece’s great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter is a princess,” says Mary.

“Who are you?” they say together. Jessie grins and winks at me.

“Our Daddy has TEN chauffeurs,” Jessie says.

“Our Mummy has three hundred and sixty-five cinemas, each for a different day of the year,” I say.

“I have two rooms, with a swimming pool in each of them,” Jessie continues.

“I have three million, six hundred and twenty thousand, nine hundred and seventy-three dollars in my bank.” I’m beginning to get the hang of this.

“We’re both princesses,” Jessie says.

“And we live in a palace!” I finish. Just at that moment, Brittney comes in.

“All done, girls?” she asks. We nod. Again. “Good. Now I’m going to tell you a bit about ‘My Moon Wedding’.”

“So, you’re going to be asked to wear dresses and ruin people’s weddings by replacing their bridesmaids. On the moon. This should be quite easy. Then, afterwards, you’ll be asked how you felt about it. Tell the truth.

“You should be heading to the moon in approximately one fortnight. It takes a long, long time to get there, so we will drug you mildly on the trip so that you fall asleep.

“When you’re on the moon, we will be filming every aspect of your lives. You will live in a cramped space together, with no way to get away from each other. We want to see how you react to that.

“You will be interviewed about just about everything. You will wear your space-dresses 100% of the time. Is everything clear?”

Selma raises her hand. “Yes?” asks Brittney.

“Um… what colour will the dresses be?” I raise one eyebrow. Brittney sighs.

“You’re about to find out. Follow me, girls.”

We follow her down a corridor and turn into a room hung with costumes. It says Fitting Room in bold letters on the door. “So this is where we get our space dresses?” asks Jessie.

“Yes,” says Brittney. “It is.” We step into the room and get given things which basically look like long-sleeved glittery tutus. Mine is orange. I step into the changing room and put it on. It looks utterly hideous. And ridiculous. Jessie has hers on now. It’s green. I laugh out loud. She really does look silly. She’s wearing a top which looks like it’s made out of green tinfoil. Her tights look the same, and she’s wearing a tutu which looks like it’s been stretched out so it touches the ground. I stop laughing when I realise I look exactly the same.

“We look like absolute clowns!” crows Jess.

“I think we look quite beautiful!” says Selma, snobbily. She’s wearing a blue dress. “She would,” I whisper to Jess. We both laugh. Mary steps out. Her dress is pink.

“I do too.”

“I do too!” Jess whispers, imitating Mary’s high-pitched voice.

“Quite done, girls?” I turn around. Brittney stands over us. We nod. We’re all scared into silence by the strict woman. “I trust they all fit?” she asks. We nod again.

“Good,” she says. “It’s time for lunch.”